The Night
by DeadPoet0712
Summary: With the night comes a stillness that reveals all truths. For when the dark settles in, the secrets come out. Rated T for mention of suicide. Oneshot.


The Night

Oneshot

**Disclaimer: I do not own DPS. If I did my life would be complete.**

**A/N: So you might have noticed I've been MIA for months now. I promise I'm still alive. Here I am! College and work have really been kicking my butt lately. For example, I worked until past twelve in the morning just now. In fact, I had the idea to write this while working, and got home as fast as possible to jot this down. It's nearly one in the morning and I'm writing. Is that art or what? I have no idea what I am writing or where it will go exactly. If it's short, so be it. At least there's an update from me and I felt inspired again. Please leave a review if you feel so inclined to do so! Oh, and Happy Easter!**

Sometimes it can be weeks until it happens again. Sometimes days. Sometimes only so many hours. Sometimes it sneaks upon him like a stranger in the night, or maybe sometimes it even stumbles upon him with no rhyme or reason. The one thing that always happened was that it was when he least expected it. Like when he was completely relaxed or happy for the past few days. Tonight it was no different.

A cloudless sky allowed the moon to shine down through the window with no curtain, bathing Neil Perry in its glow. He jerked suddenly, propping himself up on his elbows from his start. His breath caught in his throat before he realized everything was okay. Or was it?

Whenever it happened he could never be sure if he had been asleep. For many there are two states. One is being conscious, and the other unconscious. For some there are three. The two previously listed, and an annoying middle where one is never sure if they were actually sleeping or not. This was one of those nights. And that was how it always began.

From then on he would lie awake for countless hours, willing himself to sleep. There would be many reasons any person would want to sleep. There could be work the next day or an important date. A student might have an exam for example, or a sportsman might have a soccer tournament. It was true that Neil had school the next day, yet this was not what he feared for. For in the dead of the night, when the whole world was still and quiet, the truth set in. And nothing was more bothersome than that.

The truth was that he was unhappy. Neil was a fantastic student with brains others most likely envied. He went to the top boarding school for boys in the United States. He was going to become a doctor. What wasn't there to like? _Everything_.

Welton was only tolerable thanks to his friends. Without them he would have a problem.

_Overload._

Neil was smart, but it was only to appease his father and because of his perfectionist drive.

_Worn out._

But he hated the fact that he wanted to be a doctor. Except he didn't want to be one. His father did. He could understand his father wanting to give him the best. Yet the best for him was acting. It was something he loved yet knew he would never get to enjoy.

_Living a lie._

All of these feelings and repressions of dread bubbled up to the surface in the middle of the night, causing these attacks while his roommate slept peacefully on the other side of the room. Neil wished he could just push them back down, deep inside of him, like he did during the day. With the sun on his face he could put on a mask. A mask of security and confidence. At night, with the moonlight shining down on him like an interrogation light, his expression revealed all.

The night brings along time to be alone. Time to think quietly and figure out things about life. Neil's nights turned into waking nightmares, since he realized there was nothing he could do to give himself what he wanted. To be acquainted with the night was to know oneself and the world around you. It only becomes a problem when that world becomes too much.

The warning signs come at night. Neil had seen them before. He had felt them envelope his entire being until he could barely breathe. He was going to do it one day.

He was going to kill himself.

But not tonight. His boarding school bed was not the place for it.

For his final act in life would be the loudest.

The largest audience would witness the aftermath.

The perfect stage was needed.

It would be permanent.

It would be messy and vivid and wild. The complete opposite of the calm of the night.

And he will show that nothing can happen more beautiful than death.

All in good time.

But not tonight. The truth presses down upon him but it will not win.

Not now.

For it will come again in hours, days or weeks.

But he never knows when.

All he knows is that it will be perfect.

In the dark.

All truth revealed.

At night.

**A/N: So I really don't know how it turned into this. All I imagined was Neil at night, thinking of his feelings. So if you could understand my oneshot, awesome! If not, I completely understand. This was madness at its finest.**


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